Whispers and Glows

guardian angels and second editions

(Fair warning, this post and the story it references have significant religious overtones. If that is not your cup of tea, feel free to pass on this one 💚)

Six years ago, I self-published my first book. It’s only about a quarter of an inch thick, so more of a novella than a true book. But hey, it has a spine and page numbers and my name on it, so, it counts. It is semi-autobiographical in that I drew from personal experiences to a larger degree than I do in other stories I’ve worked on. It’s about guardian angels and is based on some true…interactions. One of them was when I was working as a nanny in London. I was nineteen, and, as most people who can afford to have a live-in nanny are, the family I worked for was quite wealthy. The multiple residences in places like New York City, London, Nantucket, and Park City kind of wealthy. Anyway, to put it simply, I felt very out of place. I was very much just “the help”. I remember one day having a particularly difficult time. I loved London. Just loved it. Every minute I wasn’t working, I was exploring the city. But the woman I worked for made me feel so very insignificant. So, occasionally, I’d have a difficult time of it. I’d fallen asleep and as I was gradually waking, I heard voices.

“I think she’s waking up!” one of them said.

“We should let her be,” said the other.

“Oh, but I would so love to speak to her!” replied the first.

“Come now, let her sleep. She needs the rest,” said the other.

“I promised I would stay right by her side. I won’t leave her.”

I felt something touch my open palm, like someone else’s hand. As I tried to close my fingers around it, someone in the house shouted and I came into full consciousness. My hand closed around nothing. The voices were gone. Just a dream, I thought at the time.

The other “interaction” happened when I learned that my mother had passed away. I was twenty-three. I sat in a small, dingy apartment on the other side of the continent as the news sank in slowly. The sun was setting, and the way it came in through the window made the entire room fill with an incredible golden glow, and for a moment, that apartment was the most beautiful place I’d ever been. The glow settled in my heart and for days after it stayed with me as I made my way home to be with my family. Like a warm blanket or a force field, it brought with it an improbable peace.

These experiences and more were the inspiration for Henry’s Battalion. I’d like to rework it a bit, do another round of editing, create a new edition. And maybe I’ll do that in print someday, but for now, I think I’d like to do it here. So, getting back to what I started doing with this Substack, I’ll try to post a chapter each Friday for Fiction Friday. For today, I’ll just leave you with the forward I included with the original.

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Forward to Henry’s Battalion

Henry’s Battalion began as a study exercise while I was serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was curious to know more about angels and the kind of heavenly help we are privy to as children of God. One story that particularly inspired me was from the Old Testament. The prophet Elisha was caught in the middle of a war between Israel and Syria. While the Syrians bore down on the city, his servant anxiously asked what they should do. Calmly, Elisha responded “Fear not, for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.” He prayed for the Lord to open the eyes of his servant so that he could see that “the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha” (2 Kings 6). 

None of us suffer through exactly the same trials or weaknesses or know the same joys and triumphs. I used some of my experiences as a framework for Henry’s Battalion, but I hope that anyone who reads this story will be able to put themselves and their own circumstances in place of mine and the fictional ones I came up with, and will know that they are never alone. God knows you. God loves you. We have to give this life everything we have, and still it will never be enough. But to God, YOU are more than enough. For that reason, we have a Savior to make up the difference and a Heavenly Father who loves us more than we could ever imagine, and behind them there are hosts of angels watching and protecting. Trials still come, tragedy still strikes, sorrow and agony are inescapable in this life. But we can always make it through, and become better and stronger and more beautiful because of it all. Sometimes you will have to fight for your joy and peace and happiness, but it is never gone or out of reach. Keep going.

“Be fixed in your purpose, for Satan will try you; the weight of your calling he perfectly knows. Your path may be thorny, but Jesus is nigh you; His arm is sufficient, tho demons oppose.”

--LDS Hymnbook, 266  The Time Is Far Spent