Dreams are funny things, aren’t they? I remember every time I was pregnant, I would have the wildest, most vivid dreams. Most dreams I forget even as they are unfolding in my unconscious mind. Some have stuck with me since I was a child. I had one the other night that left me thinking.
I was at some kind of recital. I sat at a piano and there were dozens and dozens of people in rows and rows of chairs, all around me, waiting for me to play. I could not, for the life of me, find the page in the book for the song I was supposed to perform. I searched and searched. Someone was sitting nearby, nagging me to get to it, everyone was waiting, just play already. Eventually, I couldn’t even remember the name of the song, and I couldn’t find the program for the event to look and remind myself. This went on for what felt like forever. Suddenly, in frustration, I slammed my hands down on the keys and just started playing. I expected it to be a jumbled mess, like how it sounds when my children goof around on our piano at home. But as I played, without knowing what notes would come next, the most incredible music came out of me. I’ve never heard anything quite like it. It was wild and sweet, it was fast and beautiful. And it was, indeed, a bit messy, but in a glorious, exciting, tumultuous way like a raging river or a thunderstorm. I played and played. The one who nagged stood speechless, and when I finished, the crowd exploded in appreciation and applause.
I wish, oh I wish, I could hear that song again. I wish I could have somehow recorded it so I could play it for myself every day. It felt like me. It felt like what my soul must sound like. It made me happy and sad and full and free.
I’m no interpreter of dreams, but I think this one has something important it’s trying to tell me. There is a message in here, perhaps from a Heavenly parent, reminding me that unless I play my song, unless I tune out the ones telling me it’s not good enough, unless I let go of fear that my life will be messy and chaotic and dissonant, I won’t have much to offer this world. A friend recently reminded me of the dichotomy between love and fear, as well as that between faith and fear. Love and faith will always be more powerful than fear. As platitudinous as that may be, it’s something I’ve been seriously pondering, and wondering if I have the courage to let go of fear and embrace both faith and love more fully. Oh, I have some faith, and I love many things and many people. But I think I’ve been skirting around real faith, and real love (and wondering if I even know exactly what they are). I need to grow in both before I can truly put fear behind me and play my soul song like I did in that dream.
Have you ever had any life-changing dreams? Or ones that taught you a lesson, or showed you a path to take that you hadn’t thought of before? Do you believe those dreams are messages from someone or somewhere else, or just our subconscious trying to communicate with our conscious? Do you have any thoughts or further interpretations about my dream? I’d love to hear about any and all of it.
Happy Sabbath 💚
p.s. remind me to tell you about the dream with the lion sometime…
Interesting dream there Hannah. It's wonderful that you remember it. I rarely do. The only ones I remember were recurrent ones where one of the surgeons I worked with would leave the OR in the middle of an operation instead of toward the end when I was supposed to take over as his PA.
My wife Emily wrote a book I believe around 2001 on dreams and their intersection with life called - "Dream Weaving-Using Dream Guidance to Create Life's Tapestry." She's doing the dishes in the other room but when I told her about your dream she basically said that Hannah is the best one to interpret her dreams using whatever tools SHE has.
I would say your faith, love, musical gifts and hutzpah might be your gifts/ tools. Maybe your dream is just telling you to run with it and stop getting in your own way - it's in "there", just let it out. But that's just me guessing. Good luck sorting it out.
I interpreted your dream in exactly the way that you did, and was delighted that when you played your impossibly beautiful song 💛